Sept 20, 2013
I knew that I cannot take back what I’ve done to you and also you lost your trust in me. I never saw it coming its just happen. Just like what you predicted sooner or later this will be over. But I want to prove to you ones more that I am worthy of your second chance. You know the day after what I’ve done I am really depressed and out of my mind and thinking what i did and I knew that day that it would be over that you will leave. Its only after you leave that I notice the weight of emptiness. You fill me in this past few months, you were my happiness. The day I met you is the day I met my true love someone I could laugh with, talk with, share my crazy thoughts, and someone to share my dreams with. I still remember the first time that I talked to you it was all laughed and we don’t know why we are laughing. Also I still remember the first date that we had in gateway just to bring you some movies as my alibi. and how could I forget that we change shoes because your feet is aching and I wanted to carry you but you don’t want to. I still remember the day I asked you out for a real date in moa, that day was one of my best day in my life I am with the girl that I really want that I think I am falling in love with and your having a bad day that night coz you and your friends are fighting and I don’t know why. I give you advices thru txt as we leave apart and I hope that you feel ok that night. I still remember the night that you cry and I really want to comfort you hug you but I cant. Still that night I asked how you feel for me and not noticing you were hurting so bad that I should asked how are you? how can I help you?. That night I realized that I should be sensitive on how you feel, that my feelings are not the number one option, I told myself what ever problems that this girl have I should listen to it. I am sorry that some of my advices is indirect to your thoughts again, I am being insensitive but I learned from it and If you would notice Im just here supporting you, thats what I can do for you to support you. I always love to listen to your badvibes moments coz that would be the time that I can really show how I care for you. All I want is to provide you, your happiness. And in one moment, in one night I blew it all. The dream of having you and to be with you. I am sorry for every mistakes that i’ve done. for being insensitive, for being stupid, for being not there when you need me, for being an asshole because I cant control my liquor, for telling you to go to school even if you dont want to, for everything that I did that causes your bad mood I am really sorry. I know that it will not change everything. But im just asking for a 2nd chance, a chance to prove myself to you again. A chance that someday I would be part of your life that me making you happy. I know that you have these out of this world attitude/tantrums but i will painfully and gladly to handle it. I can accept as many punches that you can, as many curses that you will tell me. Cause you are my comfort and I am your number 1 fan. I am sorry that I disappoint you and I am ready to change myself for you because you’re important to me and I dont want to lose you again.